


I’ve Never Eaten an Oyster

by Laura Shapiro (laurashapiro)



Category: Good Omens (TV)
Genre: Crowley has a vulva today, Cunnilingus, Established Relationship, Ineffable Husbands (Good Omens), M/M, Oral Sex, Other, PWP
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-01
Updated: 2019-07-01
Packaged: 2020-06-02 08:20:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,206
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19437565
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/laurashapiro/pseuds/Laura%20Shapiro
Summary: Aziraphale, epicure that he is, has never tasted pussy. Crowley manifests one for him.





	I’ve Never Eaten an Oyster

**Author's Note:**

> [Good Omens Kink Meme fill](https://good-omens-kink.dreamwidth.org/616.html?thread=82280#cmt82280).

“Well? What do you think?” Crowley asked, spreading himself out luxuriously on Aziraphale’s bed.

Aziraphale moved closer. “I’m sure it’s very handsome,” he said somewhat doubtfully. “I’m not much of a judge of these things, you know.”

Crowley looked down at the streamlined little cunt he had manifested. “Handsome? It’s brilliant! Look at those fine labia, and wait’ll you see what I ginned up for my clit --”

“Shouldn’t you have more hair here?” Aziraphale asked, stroking lightly at the tightly-trimmed red pubes on Crowley’s pubic bone, and then his naked outer lips. The feathery touch zinged down to Crowley’s toes. 

“This is the fashion. Didn’t you look at the porn I sent you?”

“I preferred to do my research via the library. I must say, it was very informative.” Aziraphale pulled up his footstool and took a seat, leaning in.

“I can’t believe you’ve never done this before. With all your experience--”

“I never felt the urge, my dear. But as it’s _you…”_ He laid a chaste kiss on Crowley’s mons, then bobbed his head up with a sharp intake of breath, nostrils flaring. “Gosh.”

“What is it? What’s wrong?”

“The-- your-- _aroma._ It’s so different! It’s quite--” he leaned down to kiss again, this time further down, nearly at the base of Crowley’s clit. “Really rather enticing, actually!”

Crowley squirmed. He was wet, had been ready for action for ages, had spent days planning this. He couldn’t wait to take this thing for a test drive. Aziraphale’s kiss had awakened memories that were decades old, of the last time he’d seduced someone with this kind of equipment. And that had been just a _person._ This was Aziraphale. “Well, what are you waiting for, then? Have a taste.” He opened his legs.

Aziraphale opened his mouth gently over Crowley’s clit, and pressed his lips there.

“Ungh,” Crowley said helplessly, and then “Aah!” as Aziraphale’s tongue, flat and fat, took a long slow lick of him from the base of his cunt to the top of his clit, all along the left-hand side.

“Oh, my heaven,” Aziraphale murmured, and licked again, exactly the same way but on the right-hand side, “that is _delicious._ ” Aziraphale’s tongue roamed around Crowley’s vulva, glancing at his clit, lapping, exploring.

Crowley thought he might die. Having his cock sucked was nothing like this. The sensitivity! How had he forgotten?

Aziraphale wrapped his arms around Crowley’s legs and smashed his face against Crowley’s twat, slurping and making little yummy noises, and yes, that was hot, but it was not going to get him off. Crowley abruptly realized he was going to need to take the lead here. Whatever Aziraphale had learned at the library had clearly flown out the window in the face of his newfound love of sweet, delectable pussy. 

“Angel, angel, hey--” he dug his hand into Aziraphale’s curls and gave them a gentle tug. “Hey, so you like it? That’s great--”

“I do, very much,” Aziraphale looked up smiling, lips and chin glossy, “I’d love to do this some more. Possibly for about a week.”

A flash of heat rolled through Crowley’s body at the thought. “That sounds fantastic. But maybe you could, uh, try some different techniques? Like, teasing my clit?”

“Oh! Oh yes, of course, of course. Now let’s see...” Aziraphale licked slowly all the way around Crowley’s clit in a circle. Again. Crowley could feel himself emerging from his hood, getting harder as his clit sought the contact it wasn’t getting. 

“Mmm, yeah, that’s great. Don’t forget the inner labia, they’re really sensitive.” Aziraphale gently nibbled these with his lips, then lightly sucked on each in turn. Then he licked around Crowley’s clit again, which by this time was throbbing for touch. Crowley was just about to ask when Aziraphale flicked his tongue over it, too lightly, and then more firmly. Crowley’s hips lifted off the bed. “Yeah! Oh, yeah, like that. Ungh, you’re a natural.”

Aziraphale glided his tongue across Crowley’s clit for a few seconds and then pulled back to circle it, then went to that hot tongue action on his clit again, over and over, building a rhythm. Burning pleasure built in Crowley’s clit and radiated out, tingling all over him. The climb toward orgasm was familiar but different, slow and diffuse but somehow also more intense than he was used to. Crowley missed Aziraphale’s usual dirty talk, but his hums of pleasure and obvious enthusiasm made Crowley’s whole body sing with excitement.

Things were getting really good when Aziraphale stopped to ask in a strained voice, “Forgive me Crowley, but I really want to taste -- inside. May I?”

Crowley, panting, said “Yeah, yes, of course, just don’t you dare stop.” And then he felt Aziraphale’s tongue enter him, heard Aziraphale moan with delight. The pressure from inside was astonishing, tormenting and pleasing him in ways he’d forgotten about, and Crowley clamped down as hard as he could. So good and not enough. Go- Sa- Somebody, he was going to have to have Aziraphale fuck his pussy, too, wasn’t he? Oh, but now, he needed, he needed-- “Angel, lick me! Please, please, lick my clit! Put your fingers inside and _lick me_.”

Aziraphale was generous, Aziraphale was benevolent, Aziraphale did what he was told. He thrust two fingers into Crowley’s cunt and brought his gorgeous plump slick tongue back where it belonged, moving fast now, with energy. Aziraphale seemed to know what to do with his hand, stroking Crowley inside with curved fingers, slow intense pumping that left him gasping. Aziraphale’s tongue resumed its prior pattern: moving over his clit fast and wet, circling lazily around, then returning to his clit again. Crowley had both hands on Aziraphale’s head, and it was all so good, he shamelessly fucked himself against Aziraphale’s face, cunt grasping hungrily at Aziraphale’s hand as it moved back and forth. And oh, the hot slippery pressure against his clit, over and over, not enough, need more, yes, the best, so right, yes, he was coming, shouting and clenching in great waves that went on and on. Just as he thought he was winding down, Aziraphale took Crowley’s entire clit into his mouth and sucked on it, hard, and Crowley shrieked and spasmed all over again.

When he came back to reality, Aziraphale was lying next to him on the bed, arms around his waist. His shirt was wet all down the front. He was smiling.

“Well, don’t you look like the cat that got the cream,” Crowley said, drawing him in for a flavorful kiss. Hmm, not bad, if he did say so himself.

“I could say the same thing about you,” Aziraphale replied. “I take it I did that right?”

Crowley laughed. “Yes, angel, you really did do that right.” He kissed him again. “So. Can I do anything for you?”

Aziraphale gestured downward. “Already done,” he said. There was also a large wet stain on the front of his trousers.

Crowley felt his eyes widen. “You didn’t!”

“I assure you I didn’t mean to,” Aziraphale said somewhat touchily. “It just happened. When I -- when I put my tongue inside you.”

Crowley decided not to tell Aziraphale that this was the most romantic thing he’d ever said to him.

**Author's Note:**

> Many thanks to [Juliet](https://archiveofourown.org/users/juliet) for beta and encouragement!


End file.
